“You don’t look like you have a big appetite.”

I think my rant on this comment 2 years ago is still applicable now.

This is what happened: a female server felt the need to criticize me, which I didn’t appreciate as I was telling her my order. It didn’t bother me when she said it, but the more I reflected on her words, I discovered that I was really mad about it. What if I had said, “Well you do.” Of course I would never say anything to anyone about their weight. So I want to know why women feel the need to make negative comments about mine?!

It’s not like I’m a size zero…I know I’m thin, but I have meat on my bones. Even if I did wear a size zero, don’t comment on my appetite! When these situations arise, I find myself apologizing for my figure. Something is NOT right about that! I shouldn’t have to feel bad for being healthy. Nor should I have to apologize for who I am or what I look like; and the more you work out, your size, weight, and appetite WILL increase.

Someone might think: “it’s not like she said you were fat.” It’s one thing to compliment a woman on her figure. It’s entirely different what she implied. When you comment on my healthy frame in a derogatory manner, then that’s an insult. You’re implying that I need to feel guilty or bad because I am slim – which I don’t need to be. Why not compliment someone with something like these instead: “You look fit,” you look like you workout,” “that’s a flattering top/pants,” or something along those lines. If you are making negative comments to make yourself feel better because you’re not happy with the way you look, keep it to yourself.

I thought about my opinions/feelings on this for several hours before I decided to write this post. While I filtered through my thoughts on this subject, another thought came to mind. WHY DO WE JUDGE WOMEN (AND LET’S BE HONEST, EACH OTHER) BASED UPON OUR LOOKS???? We all know that the media & Hollywood are guilty of this, but why do the rest of us do it?

When we see another woman who we think is prettier, taller, shorter, bigger/smaller chested, thinner, nicer hair, shapely, we immediately don’t like her, or assume she’s a brat, or that she’s better than us. WHY? I think that self-esteem and self-worth are the usual culprits. We need to be secure and confident in ourselves. Until that happens, we continue in this self-destructive pattern of feeling bad about ourselves because we’re constantly thinking about where we lack.

We need to stop being so negative, and finally embrace our unique beauty & our womanhood. God created each of us to look exactly the way we do. He thinks we are beautiful…isn’t that enough? No? Well it needs to be. No one has a perfect body.

Try this: Start today by finding the favorite parts about your body. For example, I love my eyes & eyelashes. Then build up your positive body image. Go on to your next favorite – maybe it’s your ankles, arms, legs, or back. Thank God for them. When you dress or put on makeup, accentuate your favorites and that will downplay your negativity. Hopefully this will help you start to see your beauty and build up your self-esteem. If you continue to focus on the positive, you will start thinking positively about your body – NO MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU WEAR OR WHAT THE SCALE SAYS!! This way the next time you see that woman, you can still feel good about yourself. You never know…she could become a life-long friend.

Let’s stop allowing ours scales be our prison cells. I just want to be healthy & in shape – no matter what that number is or what the shape looks like. I think having a positive attitude is a contributor to how I feel about myself. I heard this once or twice and it rings of such truth: “Real beauty starts on the inside and works it’s way out.”

Ladies, stop apologizing for our shapes and start appreciating them. God and our spouses certainly do, so we should, too! Let’s be a source of encouragement to each other. Let’s compliment on character & personality & physical beauty, instead of being jealous of hairstyles, makeup, clothes, eyes, lips, teeth, bra size, kindness, generosity, patience, successful, etc. We’ll probably feel freer in our relationships if we look to build each other up instead of secretly hating their beauty.

One of my favorite verses, which also supports what I’m saying is Psalm 139:14a “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Rejoice in your beauty!

 

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