It’s Scary Being Vulnerable

It’s scary and hard to be vulnerable to those we love, and worse when we’re around strangers. We get into our comfort zones, and then BAM. You find yourself sharing something personal and you have a moment of fear as you anticipate a reaction.

After the release of Rage, I thought I had gotten over being afraid of vulnerability. I did not have a choice. I was putting my personal story out there and I had to deal with it. I have to admit that being vulnerable has been difficult, but rewarding. If you have read my book, then I know you can imagine the stories others have shared with me. One or two people told me that I’m the first person they’ve ever told their story to or they hadn’t talked about it in twenty years. It’s an incredible thing to witness someone opening up about something really personal. It’s an honor, actually, because I’ve become someone who they can trust. I don’t trust people easily, so I treat a person’s trust seriously.

Over time, I slipped back into my comfort zone. I’ve let my book speak for me, well, that’s what it is supposed to do. But I know that I have and I decided that it was time to share some of my story that’s not written in the book. I knew that I had to do it, but I kept forgetting about it. I told myself that today would be the day, and I literally stared at my computer for about 10 minutes at the blank page. Then I got up to make a snack, oh, and I needed water. Then I had to send someone a text message. Then I looked at the computer again, and remembered to send an email. Isn’t it funny that when you’re supposed to do something that you don’t really want to, you can be distracted by anything?

Anyway, I created a separate page on my website to do so. I called it “The Story Behind The Story.” If someone wants to know more details of what my book is about, then that’s what the page is for. In the book trailer and on the front cover, we feature Ashley’s story – my fun and completely made up crime drama. Julie’s story is based upon my own personal trauma. I realized that I need to give it more attention and include the reason I published the book in the first place.

Here I go, becoming vulnerable again for the sake of another. It’s interesting to me that even with publishing my story, I’m nervous about publishing the page. Anyway, you can check it out here:


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